21nov10

so things have gotten worse i guess you could say. or better depending on how you look at it. the marriage is over. she told me so her self. i felt bad because she was right when she you i dont care. at the time and looking at it right now i really dont. i mean she has got to be bipolar. she is fine one minute then next she is fucking losing her shit and i mean there are things that ive seen her do that would make some therapist go nuts. that may be a bit much but still you get the picture. and now how things are going other wise i cant say im to sad. i mean yea i didnt want to be divorced at 20 years old but then again i didnt want to be 20 and married and miserable. i cant say im not totally miserable but....i dont know what to say really im just kinda rambling this time.

on another hand it was my duty free weekend this weekend and i had fun. i hung out with chag mace niki and sigan the whole time. and nikis sister shanna. she is pretty chill. i miss this feeling. its not soemthing that ive felt in a long time. chag is like a sister to me, a sister that makes sure that i can relax. its a nice change of pace. its usally the other way around when it come to me. im usually the one whpo does that. its nice. i mean i get to enjoy myslef and have fun....but when i do that i get shit for it. i get told that im not in college anymore and i cant just have fun and have no responsibilities. i get told that i am a married father to be. yes i am but i mean....not 24 hours ago she told me herself that it was over. would anyone else be confused at all of this? oh well. ive come to the realization earlier that im not as horrible as she makes em out to be....as per the gammy and the only real friends i seem to have left anymore and im not going to let her affect me that way anymore.

yes i may be a father to be but that doesnt me i cant have fun and live my life and enjoy it. i am totally excited that i am goingto be a father. little nervous not gonna lie its gonna be life changing no doubt.i think that i might have found someone who i can just hang out with and enjoy my life. she is so cool. i dont wanna go to san diego anymore. all of the people that i get along with anymore are gonna end up in virginia. and i dont want to miss her....or them. idk but im gonna go to be now. that is if i can make it there. wish i could blog about something more important that just me bitching......but fuck it nobody is reading this anyway