so this is more for me i guess, why is it that love is so hard. i want this to work so badly and she says she does too but things she tells me and the things that i can see and feel are different. sometimes giving up seems like it would be so much easier but i can feel it that in the long run its going to hurt like heel. ive already felt a broken heart once and i dont want to feel one again. but its getting harder and harder each and every day. true, some days are perfectly fine but the bad out way them. at least thats what it feels like. dont misunderstand, i do not want out of this. i just want a solution.

Magic

that was really cool. i did my first paid magic gig hat was all on me. it wasnt a faire thing and ciran wasnt involved. i think that it went pretty well. i mean i was nervous as all hell before but as the night went on it got easier. i didnt think that the people at this party would have been really interested in magic but i was surprised at how much response and enthusiasm i got. gives me hope that i might actually be able to get my talents at sleight of hand to take me somewhere even if it was as a hobby. it was a great experience and i will definitely do it again. lol so if anyone wants me to perform for their event, lol call me